Too Small To Pray For?

by Esther Elizabeth Suson

You’d think, after same-name blogs 1 and 2, I’d have started to pray for things that I want, or at least talk more to God about them as a Father. But no, like a stubborn child I refuse to ask for things because childishly, I would rather not know the answer if it is “no.”

Today, I and the Budo-girls were out to celebrate my best friend’s birthday (which actually occurred two weeks ago), so we went to Mystery Manila Libis, near Eastwood. An hour and a bunch of numbers later, we decided to have as normal a date as ever normal could be with all of us together, and went to Eastwood Mall.

Our timing was more than perfect, it was divine. The ground floor of the Mall was set with tables and tables of books on sale, both used and new. After detours to find seats, the washroom, and a photo-printer, we ended up at the books.

Now, ever since I saw – and held – a copy of The Conjugal Dictatorship by Primitivo Mijares in a family friend’s house, I rather wanted one. (One of my aims is to become as near an expert on the Marcoses as I can unofficially be, for mine own amusement). So when m’best friend found the Rare Collection and Filipiniana books, I jumped and grabbed, and came down with The Conjugal Dictatorship, to my very great delight.

My worry had always been that I might not be able to find it. It is quite old, first published in 1976. It is set in the midst of the events themselves, so I expect a whole lot more emotion than a current book about that era would hold. But, after all, that’s what makes history, and I want to hear, read, and see as many different sides of that era as I can.

At the same time, it was just the best thing ever for God to drop into my lap with another hug, as yet another reminder that going to Him as my Father, remembering that He is Lord and Father, is something that I still need to get used to.